Welcome friend.
Philosophies Guiding This Work
Our program is guided by several of our shared truths about relationships. We want you to know about them as we enter our work together.
You need to put effort and energy into building and maintaining your relationship
You need to invest in your aliveness and growth- and support that of your partner
We all want to know we matter, we belong, and we're special
We all have default settings, know yours and how to work with them to foster intimacy
You are not broken, systems around you often are
You deserve pleasure
Your feelings are valid
You are responsible for your impact on and perspective of the world around you as well as your learning and growth
Use the questions below to reflect on your own guiding philosophies:
Tips for a successful program experience:
Take it slow
You could choose to blow through this program in one sitting- but the best practice is to sit with it a few pages a day to let your awareness grow gently.
Open your mind
In order to create change we must first be open to it. But in my work with clients I notice a few blocks often get in the way. I wanted to warn you about these in case you encounter them as you work on your connection.
Think bigger
The single greatest limiting belief I encounter is an internal voice saying “I already know this” It’s true- some of the things we will go over may be lessons you have heard in the past.
My guess is if you stay open and curious as a learner you will find ways to integrate the lesson, and may learn at a deeper level this go around. Try it.
The simple truth is we rarely take time to intentionally apply the truths we know of relationships to our own lives or practices.
Instead of saying “I already know this” Ask yourself, “what can I learn from this”? Try to see the information from a new angle or with new appreciation each week.
Try, try again
A similar limiting belief can come in the form of “I already tried this” or “This won’t work for me” Instead, try to stay open and curious as a learner and ask yourself, “how can this work for me?”
Even if you have tried something similar before, you are a different person than you were then- and your ability to move toward happiness may be different now. Challenge yourself to try it out anyway.
Nothing is too simple
Finally, one of the other limiting beliefs clients encounter in this work is “this is too simple.” Strange but true, the ease of these practices leads many of us to take a relaxed approach when applying them.
When we think they’re too simple to make a real difference- and we are totally wrong. This process is filled with tiny tweaks you can do to make real changes in your relationship patterns. Don’t let the ease fool you- staying committed to this process will help you get and stay clear.
With that premise, the biggest secret to success with this tool is so simple you might roll your eyes- but try it out because it works: write it down.
Use the reflection guide below to consider what may help you honor these mindsets in our program.
Make the most of your learning experience
Plan for Accountability
Make a plan for your learning. Set aside time when you won't be distracted. Are you going to sit down and do a weekly lesson at once? Or break it up over the week? Make a plan. We recommend having a notebook or journal specifically for this membership group. It's helpful to keep all of your notes in one place.
Buddy Up
It's also really helpful to have a learning buddy. If you are in a relationship, think about joining this group with your partner. It will serve your relationship to be able to process this information together.
Contacting us
We LOVE your questions! And, Gina and Julie are both moms with full-time private practices. We will be checking in here regularly for messages and looking forward to hearing from you in our regularly scheduled calls. The best ways to get a hold of us are...
1) Schedule a consultation:
Get on Julie's calendar:
Get on Gina's calendar: www.heygina.com/schedule
2) Email us:
3) Instagram:
This work does bring up intense emotions, past experiences, and big questions for lots of folks, if that happens to you, you are NOT alone. Hire a therapist through TherapyDen even for just a couple of sessions to help you think and talk things through.